things randall says | Hardly Funny

Randall’s Unusual Nostalgia

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I rarely take Randall shopping with me when I shop for myself. He usually dies inside while feigning contentment. It kills me to see him so unhappy. He recalled this pretty nerdy anecdote when we did happen to go shopping together for the holidays and had passed by an office supply store. Yup, he actually said “the cool guys” did this. I just hope they had something to eat for lunch since they weren’t spending their money on a meal. There are more interesting comics to come, of other times that I take Randall into the real world on shopping trips, where he does and says weird things.

DEFCON

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DEFCON

So this is what my hacker husband, Randall, said to me when I asked him about the conference he was going to (last year). Yup. Pretty rogue-hackerish-sounding to me, and pretty normal – or “badass”- to him. DEFCON is an annual pro-hacking conference in the US that’s pretty well known for its often rebellious attitude. And just so I don’t get shot, I’ll clear the air by saying that “rebellious” can mean something like “rebellion via hacking in a righteous effort to create transparency”. And that’s all I know about DEFCON! I like how Scribbles looks in this comic. She’s just as cute in real life by the way.

Thanksgiving

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I made placecards for Thanksgiving and found a way to look up pilgrim names. Don’t worry realists, I made Native American ones too. Anyway, Randall was pretty upset that a not-so-passionate programmer forgot to seed his random number generator and therefore, made our names the same.

Easy Reading

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So I couldn’t get into the bath the other day because Randall had cozied up with none other than “HTML 5: an Overview”. Now, whenever I read code books, which is not very often, I do it in front of a keyboard. Maybe this is why Randall takes a bazillion baths and buys a bazillion books.

Disconnected

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Disconnected

Poor lovebug and I went to a concert, where he said this to me. I know what he means though, especially if being offline means talking to strangers, who he calls “not programmers”.

Parking Problems

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I am miffed that uber pregnant people get priority parking over everybody else at certain Targets and grocery stores. And then Randall proposed that he should get the priority parking! …our first-world problems…

Potentially Perfect

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Another Randall epiphany moment. Maybe one day my site designing skills will be good enough for us to be potentially perfect too!

Slow Internet

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Yup, poor lovebug just dies when the internet is slow. At least it taught me what a facepalm is. I didn’t know he has to title actions now. Must be a Reddit thing.

Houserules

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Some things aren’t tolerated by computer programmers, such as people who type in all capitals and people who use Comic Sans font. It’s kind of like saying, “Look at me, I’m a douchebag.” It makes my Lovebug yell, “Nope!” which is something else unique about his kind….

Randall Goes Outside

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My programmer of a husband said this one time as we drove past a field, while on a road trip. He doesn’t get out much, and I guess that he doesn’t see a lot of haystacks online. He’s so weird. I would know; I’m pretty weird myself.

Infinite Recursion

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It was really embarrassing when Randall started yelling “Infinite recursion!” in the grocery store. I didn’t know how to calm him down. I didn’t want to explain, to strangers, the excitement of his epiphany, mostly because people just won’t understand. There’s a new taco at Taco Bell, flavored like Dorito chips. After it became popular, Doritos had to continue flavoring things…. Doritos now has a new chip that is flavored after the taco that was initially flavored after themselves…. It is like a never ending loop!

Logic-Loving Husband

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So programmers are programmed (like the programs that they write) to think logically and that creates a sort of, human error problem for Randall sometimes. When I told him that I was “head over heels” for him once, he was very confused as illustrated in exhibit A above. I suppose that I sound just as confusing to him too.